Notes on Stress and Dealing with It

Lately I've been researching how to deal with mental stress, how it feels, and why it's bad. Here are some notes I've gathered. If you're here from Google or you're stalking me, please don't listen to any of this. I did my research, but I won't cite any papers or spend hundreds of hours to prove my point. These are notes for my future self if I ever forget what I've learned.

Why is stress bad for me:

• it makes me less productive,
• it makes me be a dick,
• it reduces gastric acid production which causes many gut problems,
• it impairs the action of MMC (migrating motor complex), which also causes many gut problems (e.g. SIBO, IMO, IBS),
• it causes me to breathe in too much air, which is bad for health and for Tetany,
• it shortens my lifespan and takes joy away from life

Proven ways of dealing with stress:

Diet

• Eating a balanced diet made by certified dietitians and nutritionists. You're a programmer, you don't know everything even if you think you do - unknown unknowns
• No snacks or colored, flavored drinks between meals, even coffee - it can affect and put MMC to sleep
• No overeating, stop when you feel 80% full
• Eat every 3-4 hours, don't skip meals - it takes at least 120 minutes to digest food, a walk after the food can help make it easier
• Last meal should be 3-4 hours before bed, it can also affect MMC and make your sleep horrible
• Keep 12-14 hours fast between last meal and first meal of the day (e.g. last meal at 8pm, first meal at 8-10am)

Exercise

• Don't over-exercise, multiple hours every day. Don't try to be an athlete if you spend most of your life sitting in front of a computer. Your body will make you aware of that pretty fast.
• 5 hours of moderate aerobic exercise every week is the most beneficial amount for an average person. You can measure heart rate and it shouldn't go above 50-70% of your max heart rate.
• Train hard at least 3 times a week:
  • Martial arts are great in every aspect if you don't spar hard or at all
  • Biking and jogging are also great
  • Bodybuilding is awful and limiting, but useful if you're sick often and lose a lot of muscle. You need muscles - muscles help you get better faster.

Lifestyle

• Daily mindfulness meditation - over time it will help you to be more aware of your thoughts and emotions. How to be in the present moment, make you aware that thoughts don't have to be judged and they're not the source of truth, just something that your brain formed in a complicated process.
• Daily Yoga or Stretching
• Quality sleep - it affects everything and should always be a priority.
  • 7-9 hours of sleep per night,
  • Comfortable bed and temperature,
  • Sleep in a dark room, no lights, no TV, no phone in hand,
  • Ocean sounds can be great for sleeping - they can help you breathe better and relax,
• Daily deep breathing
  • 4/7/8 - focus on breathing in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, breathe out for 8 seconds. Doesn't matter whether it's from nose or mouth, do what you prefer.
  • One big breath until you can't breathe anymore air, followed by another small one to fill your lungs 100% and then controlled exhalation
• Progressive muscle relaxation - e.g. Jacobson's method before sleeping, it takes about 10 minutes or less and is very effective over time and backed by papers
• Proper Hydration - 2-3 liters of water a day is enough, unless you're training that day or you're dehydrated, then more.
• Nature exposure - not living in a city, having a forest or a garden somewhere close, taking walks in the woods, green areas. Can be combined with Mindfulness meditation.
• Music Therapy - nature sounds, lo-fi music, binaural beats - they are not backed by any scientific evidence, but they work for some, worth trying,
• Social Interactions - talking to people, sharing your thoughts, building deep connections, having genuine conversations - super important for mental health and can change more than you think.
• Time management and schedule - sometimes we might feel like we're not stressed, but we really are and the body is telling us that. We constantly have that little bunny or a whole dozen of bunnies jumping inside our head stressing us out. Those abstract bunnies can be tasks you have for work, chores, some personal issues. The point is to free those bunnies on a piece of paper or some kind of notes. To tell them that they are now in queue and they should behave. There's no need for a complicated tool, a simple piece of paper or Remarkable is enough. Start by planning things you wanted to do for weeks/months.
• Consuming less content from Social Media like LinkedIn, Instagram, Youtube or Twitter - people there are usually toxic, anonymous, depressed, sad, egotistical or simply without empathy (which is a skill you learn through conversations or life experience, e.g. health issues). Reading comments under a video or a tweet is extremely addicting and also can make you mad or anxious really quickly - and there's nothing truly valuable there. Criticism without solution is not valuable.
• Challenging oneself with routine - doing challenging things and forming routines like reading books or working on a side project after work. It helps you better Neuroplasticity of your brain and over time protect it more from mental issues. Doing what you hate to do, but doing it like you love it - only if you find it beneficial.
• Being Assertive - it can get you fired, lose friends or get in trouble so it's always a trade-off. But it's a great tool to validate whether you were: in a good place (work-wise), had good friends that respect your boundaries,
• Not believing your internal voice - you're not a robot, you make mistakes and you're not always right. Your internal voice/thoughts are not always true. They are affected by many things and can change depending on the situation, time and many different factors. So why believe them?
• Being kind to yourself and others - helping other people or saying kind words to them can benefit you and your mental health. Eliminating negative thoughts and self-criticism - it's not helping and won't motivate you - don't judge, just observe.
• Daily Gratitude Practice - writing 3 things down that you're grateful for every day won't take you long and you will learn how to talk nicely to yourself.

Supplements

You don't really need any supplements, everything written in the section above is so simple as an idea yet so hard to do. There are some things that can in theory help over time, but they don't resolve the issue, they patch it.

• Magnesium
• Vitamin D
• Omega-3 fatty acids - if you don't eat fish weekly
• Ashwagandha - it was never designed to be taken for months or years. You could use it if you know a stressful period is coming, but not all year round.